As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
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I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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