My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
