I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
