around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize