We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
