I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
