help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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