Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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