OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
