I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i would punch a child for taco bell
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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