I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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