We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
