Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
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We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
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I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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