P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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