So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
