why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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