you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
