we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize