if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
