It's Friday. Sex?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
