so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize