I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
