I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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