My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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