Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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