Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
