take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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