This is not my ceiling
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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