So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she told me i tasted like america
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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