I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."