If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots