Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
