i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
