For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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