I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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