im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
