Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
