There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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