No more Irish car bombs ever.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
