i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life