Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
