you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He better not be in your backpack
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
