I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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