So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize