Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
