do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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