remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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