btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
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Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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