im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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