420 ftw
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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