Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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