I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
