Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize