I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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