Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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